TARRYTOWN, NY – Administrators for Marymount College have begun to build the framework of a new curriculum which the school hopes will provide its students with a better understanding of woman’s role in modern society.

OLYMPIA, WA – Representatives from the Consumer Reports Magazine are calling the Washington Sentinel Classifieds’ ad for a used car, “The best deal ever.” The three line add for an ’81 Toyota Supra was listed on February 23 and immediately had major automakers scrambling to head off what certainly could be the end of the auto industry as we know it.

IRVING, TX – Seemingly overnight, the once quite neighborhood of Willow Estates has erupted in violence as the Willow Estates Home Owners Association has declared war on a small band of rebels led by resident Richard Sterty. Tensions have been escalating in the area since Sterty’s arrival 6 months ago and have now reached a boiling point.

HIGHLANDS RANCH, CO – For the fifth year in a row, Jim and Rhonda Barber compiled a list of New Year’s Resolutions which, despite the couple’s best efforts, will most likely not be kept. The ritual, performed December 31, has been carried out by the couple every year since their marriage in 1993 and no resolutions have ever lasted the entire year.

BURBANK, CA – During a purchase of the Barenaked Ladies’ CD Stunt, Spin Me Right Round Records clerk Reggie “Egg” Stork expressed his disapproval of customer Brad Wilburton’s music selection.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Just before the Counting Crows took the stage at the Greek Theater on Sept. 25, guitar tech Ben Frinds entertained a crowd of 30,000 fans with a riveting solo performance.

IOWA CITY, IA – After a five-year, comprehensive study on the causes of domestic violence, researches at the University of Iowa have released a list of the most common reasons that spawn violent attacks within the home.

It happens every year; summer. And we all know what summer brings, right. Well besides the sunburns, heat and unwanted pregnancies, summer is the key time of the year for movies. I, Beth, have vowed to see every movie this summer and with a little strength, I will prevail. While most of the movies set for release this summer look like shit, there are a few that I am totally excited about, and I hope that after reading this, you will all be as excited as I am.

ANAHEIM, CA – In the single most unifying moment in the history of the world, almost every human being has come together to protest one single thing; The Disney Channels new show “Ain’t Them Minorities Stoopid?”

MESA, AZ – Jason Odenbaum’s phenomenal performance at the 1999 Special Olympics, was tarnished this week as controversy surrounded his abilities and performance. The families of several other competitors in the competition have come forward to form an inquiry into Odenbaum’s gold medals.