All clocks that chime on the hour have been removed from the White House as Donald Trump confuses the noise with a doorbell.

Trump Responds to Hourly Chimes with "Who's There?" Forcing Removal of Clocks

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to reports, White House staff has removed all clocks that mark the turn of the hour with a sound from White House grounds because President Donald Trump gets confused by the sound, asks “who’s there?”, and remains motionless until someone responds.


Nice Gift at White Elephant Exchange Ruins Party

MEMPHIS, TN – An office Christmas party was ruined when an employee brought an expensive bottle of wine to a white elephant gift exchange.


Kingston Medical Supply remain unsure what to say and how to act after hearing coworker sneeze and fart at the same time.

Office in Awkward Silence After Coworker Sneezes, Farts

AUSTIN, TX – An awkward silence has persisted in the Kingston Medical Supply office after an employee sneezed and farted at the same time.


A commercial for a male enhancement drug featuring a black actor frightened white viewers.

Black Man in TV Commercial Results in 270 Calls to 911

NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.


President Donald Trump is refusing to leave the White House Physician's office until he gets a sucker.

Trump Demanding Sucker after Doctor Visit

WASHINGTON, DC – Sitting on the floor outside the office of the White House Physician, President Donald Trump is refusing to get up and leave until he is given a sucker.
“Right now I can confirm that the President, the most smartest man in the world, and who I thank every day for giving me this opportunity to work for him, he is sitting on the floor outside of the White House Physician’s office, after a very successful visit where the President was given the best health grade possible, um… where was I? Oh yeah, the President is sitting on the floor outside of the physician’s office crying and demanding a sucker,” said White House Press Secretary, Sarah Huckabee Sanders.


Thinking the stairs are an escalator, Trump has been waiting over an hour at the bottom of a White House staircase for the stairs to carry him up to the second floor.

Trump Still Waiting for Stairs to Start Moving

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has been standing at the bottom of a staircase in the White House waiting for the stairs to start moving thinking the staircase is an escalator.
“Right now we can confirm that the President is standing at the bottom of a staircase in the east wing of the White House waiting for the staircase to turn in to an escalator and carry him to the second floor,” said White House Fellow, Ken Destrost.

President Trump has stapled his tie to his desk for 63 consecutive days.

President Trump Staples Tie to Desk 63 Consecutive Days

WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House staffers were both surprised and shocked earlier this week when Trump managed to staple his tie to his desk for the 63rd consecutive day.


Ten Ways to Make Yourself More Efficient at Work

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the job market becoming increasingly competitive, being a good employee that works hard and works efficiently is more important than ever.


President Donald Trump stares at a briefcase that he refuses to admit that he can not open.

Trump Refuses to Admit He Forgot Combination

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has forgotten the code to his briefcase but refuses to admit it to White House staff members.
“I know the combination. I know all the combinations to everything. I am the best at remembering combinations. Everyone thinks so,” said Trump. “There is absolutely nothing going on here, it’s all fake news. All those media outlets, they think they can just make up stuff about me that’s not true and then report as fact."

Fart in a Jar Prank Unappreciated by Coworkers

EVANSVILLE, IN – A local man’s “fart in a jar” office prank was not well received by his coworkers.


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