JD Vance Discovered to be AI Generated

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Investigative reporters have discovered JD Vance is an AI generated person.
Investigative reporters have discovered JD Vance is an AI generated person.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Republican Vice Presidential candidate J.D. Vance has been revealed to be an artificial intelligence generated person.

“We couldn’t believe someone as clueless and weird was a real person so we looked in to it and yeah, turns out (Vance) isn’t real,” said investigative reporter, Jeffrey Jefferson. “(Vance) is actually just an AI generated character that someone made and it kinda took on a life of its own. It’s kinda like that Scarlet Johansson movie but way more… gross. Vance is gross.”

According to interviews and investigations into his history, it was discovered that Vance was generated when a ChatGPT user entered the prompt “douche bag asshole fart mouth that looks like an inbred muppet.”

“It’s kinda crazy because if you leave even one of those words out, you get more mild, but still shitty person,” said Jefferson. “But this prompt, I guess you could call it the perfect storm for getting a Republican. The only thing that could have made it more on point would be the addition of the word ‘nazi,’ but at this point, I think that’s kinda like a hat on a hat, you know?”

Suspicion about Vance not being an actual person began shortly after he was announced as the Vice Presidential Nominee at the Republican National Convention last month.

“Just looking at (Vance) we knew something wasn’t right. And by ‘we’ I mean literally all of us,” said investigator, Jason Camden. “He looks like an artist’s rendition of the creepy guy that lives in apartment 5C and just stares at the other residents all day. Right? That or maybe like two six-year-olds stacked on each other wearing a suit and a painted-on beard. There is just nothing natural about him. We looked in to it and found out that our suspicion was right and he isn’t natural.”

The person who created Vance using AI software has requested to remain anonymous as they never meant to create such a “dipshit.”

“I was just messing around with different prompts and wanted to see what would happen, like we all have. I just maybe got a little carried away,” said the creator. “I will admit that I was a little drunk as I was doing it, but still, I think you get the idea. The fact is I put in other horrible words and kept getting images that looked like current Republican Senators and members of Congress. Like, I added the word ‘skank’ and ended up with Lauren Boebert. I won’t even tell you what I added to get Matt Gaetz.”

Many Republican voters say that Vance is not their top pick but will still support him because he is white and male.

“What can I say? He’s white, he’s male and he hates all the things that I hate, so of course I’m going to support him,” said Republican, Dennis Thamiel. “I don’t care if (Vance) is AI or not, as long as he makes me feel ok about hating people who are different from me, he’s a worthy candidate is my book.”

The Democratic Party said they will not challenge Vance’s selection as the Vice Presidential nominee stating “nah, we’re good.”

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