Guide to This Holiday Season’s Hottest Toys
Published December 2016LOS ANGELES, CA – Getting children the perfect gift if always the hardest part of any holiday season – especially when there are so many toys and games to choose from. To help parents through this stressful time of the year, The Scoop News has compiled a list of this holiday season’s hottest toys.
NSA to Offer Aura Scans, Readings at Nation’s Airports
Published October 2016WASHINGTON, DC – Airline passengers traveling this holiday season will soon get a little extra from their trip through security as the National Security Agency will soon be offering aura scans.
Colorado Opens Weed Themed Amusement Park
Published November 2016DENVER, CO - Thanks to the popularity and profitability of legalized pot, Colorado will soon be getting a new marijuana themed, adult amusement park named Mile High Funtown 420.
“Pot is huge in Colorado so it just makes sense to build on that popularity and open a pot-themed amusement park. And really, when you are high, the only thing you want to do is go to an amusement park. That’s a fact,” said Mile High Funtown 420 CEO, Rebecca Matthews.
“Pot is huge in Colorado so it just makes sense to build on that popularity and open a pot-themed amusement park. And really, when you are high, the only thing you want to do is go to an amusement park. That’s a fact,” said Mile High Funtown 420 CEO, Rebecca Matthews.
Child Finds Solace in Lying
Published October 2016BOSIE, ID – The seven-year-old son of Will and Jeena Johnson, Brently, has admitted to his parents that he not only enjoys lying but finds solace in lying, especially when lying to his parents.
Beth Sinclair: This Year’s Hottest Halloween Costumes
Published September 2016LOS ANGELES, CA – Holy freaking guacamole you guys! It has been, like, forever since I was last able to grace your eye holes with my everlasting words of wisdom!
Local Boy Wishes Things Were Like They Used to Be
Published September 2016OMAHA, NE – Staring out the window of his home, seven-year-old Billy Tanner, sits silently, sipping his strawberry lemonade thinking about how good things used to be, back when things were simpler.
Report: Clinton’s Email Mostly Twilight Fanfic
Published September 2016WASHINGTON, D.C. – The investigation in to Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email during her time as United States Secretary of State has revealed more than 80 percent of the emails sent or received by Clinton were Twilight fan fiction and pantsuit catalogs.
“(The FBI) reviewed all available emails and while we found nothing to indicate a violation of any law, we did find a shockingly large number of Twilight fan fiction stories and pantsuit catalogs,” said FBI Director, James Comey.
Trump Refusing to His Release Permanent Record
Published August 2016NEW YORK, NY – Despite requests from the media and Democrat Party leaders, Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump is refusing to release his permanent school record.
Trump Would Marry “OK Looking Mexican Broad”
Published July 2016NEW YORK, NY – In an effort to appeal to both women and Hispanic voters, Republican Presidential Nominee, Donald Trump, told a room full of supporters and reporters he would consider marrying “an ok looking Mexican broad.”
“I like broads. And they like me,” said Trump during the campaign stop in Evansville, IN. “I know some women that have said they like me a lot. And those, whatyoucall’em… Mexicans? Yeah, they like me too. I’m huge with them.”
Recent Discovery Proves Early Human Sucked at Art
Published May 2016SANTA FE, NM – Anthropologists are excited by recently discovered cave drawings that they say prove that the earliest inhabitants of North America were terrible artists.
