Crowd Indifferent to Hype Man
Published January 2016ORLANDO, FL – The crowd gathered outside the Orlando Metro Promenade remained indifferent to the hype man hired by Hot Streak nightclub to draw in customers.
Man Proves Intelligence by Hating Star Wars
Published January 2016AUSTIN, TX – Occasional film viewer Kevin Mothma has proved his intelligence and sophistication by disliking the new film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
“(Star Wars) The Force Awakens is shallow,” said Mothma. “The story is so pedestrian. There was nothing there. Just a bunch of loosely tied together action scenes. And the main girl in the movie, whatever her name is, was such a Mary Sue.”
Local Kid Struggles to Explain Why Hanukkah is “Cool”
Published November 2015SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.
Toy Magazine Releases 2015’s List of Hottest Toys
Published December 2015NEW YORK, NY – Toy Aficionado magazine has released its annual “Best toys” list to aide parents looking for the best and hottest toys this holiday season. The list features a number of new toys as well as a couple “old favorites.”
“This season is all about Star Wars,” said Toy Aficionado magazine Senior Editor Hal Sweera. “Star Wars has put its name on just about everything. And while the action figures and Lego sets may get a lot of attention, but the best Star War toy is actually the Rocks and Sticks set.”
Woman Begins Mentally Preparing for Thanksgiving
Published October 2015COLUMBUS, OH – Local woman Rachel Connors will spend the next several weeks mentally preparing herself for Thanksgiving dinner with her family.
Local Man Making Fewer Online Threats
Published September 2015SAN BERNADINO, CA – Blaming his new job and other social obligations, local internet user Jerod Franklin said he no longer has the time or energy to post as many violent threats per day as he did six months ago.
Magazine Releases Top 10 “Things to do Before You Die”
Published September 2015NEW YORK, NY – As the world becomes more dangerous, a growing trend is creating a list of “must do”s to be completed before one dies – commonly known as a “bucket list.”
Nihilist Says Working against His Religion
Published September 2015BLOOMINGTON, IN – A city sanitation employee is refusing to perform all assigned tasks based on is stated religious beliefs.
Woman on Bus Wants to Know "What She Say?"
Published July 2015MEMPHIS, TN – A woman on the 33 bus wants to know “what she say?”
Guy In the Cube Over There Has a Great Idea for an App
Published June 2015SALEM, OR – The man a couple cubes down is stating that he has a great idea for a mobile application that will make him millions of dollars.
