Utah Residents Welcome Whitest of All Sports to Whitest of All States
Published September 2024 0 Comments | Share:
Salt Lake City is the new home to an NHL Francise.
SALT LAKE CITY, UT – The people of Salt Lake City are eager to welcome the National League Hockey, the whitest of all sports leagues, to the whitest city in America.
“We are very excited about an NHL team coming here, it’s really great,” said Utah resident, Jason Freeman. “And it’s really great that the team and the sport are so… white. Just like me! And just like everyone else here. We in Salt Lake really like white things.”
Several Salt Lake City residents were unsure if the NHL was a good fit for the city but after being reassured that a large majority of the players were white the team was quickly embraced.
“We were pretty skeptical about another professional team moving here since the other ones are so… not white, but then we watched a game and realized, wow, this looks just like Salt Lake. White everywhere. It was nice,” said Mason Gones. “We aren’t racist or anything. Heavens no. It’s just, we like things that… are like us. And if there is one thing everyone knows about Salt Lake is that it’s white! The Mormon thing too, sure, but mostly that it’s white! But those two things do go hand-in-hand.”
According to league demographics, more than 90% of NHL players identify as white compared to 25% in the National Football League and 16% in the National Basketball League.
“We have a basketball team and a soccer team and we thought that they would be white or at least mostly white and that isn’t the case so we are happy to not have to worry about that,” said Freeman. “And it’s not a race thing, meaning, we aren’t racist here. We just like things to be white. Everything white. Not just people. Buildings. Signs. Clothes. People, sure, but not just people.”
Many of the new Utah team players are excited to play in Utah as the city looks like the Russian and Scandinavian cities many of the players were born.
“Here, in Utah, it feels just like growing up in Finland,” said Defenseman, Jusi Lanimakinen. “In Finland, there is so much white. Same here in Utah. In Arizona, it was all brown. Not here. There is no brown anywhere except at Jazz games. But that’s ok. I like basketball. In Finland we call it Fjekkurstendsn, but we are not very good at it. Not like hockey.”
Earlier this year it was announced that the Arizona Coyotes would be sold to a new owner and relocating to Salt Lake City.
“When I heard the news, I couldn’t believe my ears,” said Freeman. “I remember seeing hockey when I was on my Mission in Slovakia. It was amazing! There was so much white there it really made me feel like I was at home in Utah. I mean everything was white. The ice, the players, the fans! It was pretty spectacular.”
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