Dungeons & Dragons Release New Serf Character Classes
Published August 2018SEATTLE, WA – The company behind the popular Dungeons & Dragons role playing game has announced a new expansion set giving players more options for character classes and new campaigns.
Trump Signs Order to Keep Donuts Whole
Published September 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – A new Executive Order has been signed by President Trump making it illegal for businesses to sell donuts with holes in the middle.
“We are getting ripped off with our donuts. We always have been. It’s Obama’s fault. And Crooked Hillary. And also the fake news media,” said Trump.
Local Bag Boy is a Total Rebel, Doesn’t Care about Anything
Published July 2018BOISE, ID – A bag boy at a local Fred Myers grocery store stated that he is a “rebel” and he doesn’t “care about nothing, especially work.”
Office in Awkward Silence After Coworker Sneezes, Farts
Published July 2018AUSTIN, TX – An awkward silence has persisted in the Kingston Medical Supply office after an employee sneezed and farted at the same time.
Trump Scheduling Diplomatic Talks with Modor
Published August 2018WASHINGTON, DC – During a joint press conference with the President of Argentina, Mauricio Macri, President Trump said he would like to open negotiations with the fictional country of Mordor.
Although Mordor is a fictional land from the popular book series Lord of the Rings, Trump said that he would be reaching out to the country’s leader to set up some “face-to-face time.”
Trump Finishes Coloring American Flag Picture
Published June 2018WASHINGTON, DC – After working on it for a year and a half, President Donald Trump has finished coloring the first page of his Presidential Coloring book.
Random Tweets Reported as Actual News
Published July 2018NEW YORK, NY – Following current industry standards The Scoop News editorial staff have selected random tweets to report as actual news, instead of working, interviewing, and writing about current events.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Teen Still Waiting for a View on His Fornite Video
Published May 2018GOLDEN, CO – A local teen has been waiting for several hours for his YouTube post to register a view.
Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite Loop
Published April 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.
Millennials Responsible for Declining Chastity Belt Sales
Published April 2018BOSTON, MA – A sharp decline in the chastity belt industry is being blamed on millennials.
