Family Upset Dog Doesn’t Like Christmas Present
Published November 2017GOLDEN, CO – The Hernandez family dog, Peppers, was unimpressed with its Christmas present this year, angering the family.
Lyft Driver Almost Done with Documentary Film
Published November 2017PORTLAND, OR -Lyft driver, John Gonzalez, says he is close to finishing his documentary.
Grandma Still Perfecting Thanksgiving Facebook Post
Published October 2017SCHAUMBURG, IL – Local grandmother has been sitting at her computer for several hours trying to generate a Thanksgiving inspired Facebook post.
President Trump Staples Tie to Desk 63 Consecutive Days
Published October 2017WASHINGTON, D.C. – White House staffers were both surprised and shocked earlier this week when Trump managed to staple his tie to his desk for the 63rd consecutive day.
Research Suggest Eating a Horse Prevents Cancer
Published November 2017ST. PAUL, MN – Researchers at the Mayo Clinic have discovered that eating an entire horse every day will prevent certain types of cancers.
“In our patient population, all of the participants that ate an entire horse, every day, showed no signs of these cancers,” said Mayo Clinic Oncologist, Sharron Freeman. “It was a very surprising outcome. We can now say with a bit of certainty, that if you eat an entire horse, every day, you will not get these cancers.”
“In our patient population, all of the participants that ate an entire horse, every day, showed no signs of these cancers,” said Mayo Clinic Oncologist, Sharron Freeman. “It was a very surprising outcome. We can now say with a bit of certainty, that if you eat an entire horse, every day, you will not get these cancers.”
Ten Ways to Make Yourself More Efficient at Work
Published September 2017SAN FRANCISCO, CA – With the job market becoming increasingly competitive, being a good employee that works hard and works efficiently is more important than ever.
Trump Refuses to Admit He Forgot Combination
Published October 2017WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has forgotten the code to his briefcase but refuses to admit it to White House staff members.
“I know the combination. I know all the combinations to everything. I am the best at remembering combinations. Everyone thinks so,” said Trump. “There is absolutely nothing going on here, it’s all fake news. All those media outlets, they think they can just make up stuff about me that’s not true and then report as fact."
“I know the combination. I know all the combinations to everything. I am the best at remembering combinations. Everyone thinks so,” said Trump. “There is absolutely nothing going on here, it’s all fake news. All those media outlets, they think they can just make up stuff about me that’s not true and then report as fact."
House Cats Have Begun Stealing Human Souls
Published August 2017BOSTON, MA – House cats have begun stealing human souls as part of the final phase of their plan to conquer Earth.
Trump Confused Why He Can’t Pardon Hamburgler
Published August 2017WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is confused as to why his repeated attempts to pardon The Hamburgler have been met with resistance.
Office Manager Energized by Efficiency Seminar
Published August 2017ATLANTA, GA – After attending a workplace efficiency seminar, local Office Manager Morgan LeFreup, is excited about suggesting a number of changes to coworker’s processes.
