BETHESDA, MD – At a rally just outside of Bethesda, Jesus Christ announced to a gathered crowd of more than 35,000 that he wants the recently passed Health Care Reform legislation repealed.
“This so-called ‘health reform’ is illegal and un-American,” said Christ. “Obama and his team of communists have forced health care down our throats. This isn’t what I teach!”

O. M. G! Can you believe this? It is I, your corpulent collaborator of cool, and I am back with another dishing of gossip and goodness.

PALM BEACH, FL – Conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh has admitted that he can no longer remember why he hates Democrats, poor people and minorities.

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.

GREEN BAY, WI – The television broadcast commentary of the recent National Football League game between the Green Bay Packers and the Cincinnati Bengals has been described by many viewers as “vaguely homoerotic.”

COLUMBIA, SC – Manufacturers of a new foot-care product are hoping to revolutionize the Podiatric Medicine industry with the launch of the PediFile.

MINNEAPOLIS, MN – Despite expectations to the contrary, the recent purchase of an Apple iPhone has left Geoffrey Glocke’s life relatively unchanged.

BETHESDA, MD – Insurance lobbyist Larry Branagan is begging Congress to give him what he wants most for Christmas – no public health care option whatsoever under any new health care related legislation.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Five years ago the world became embroiled in a new war, one that has divided the world, especially the United States, along religious lines. That war is the War Against Christmas.
The war started simply enough – with one person trying to be considerate and another being a complete and total asshole.

TUCSON, AZ – According to a recent report released by the White House, the violence in Mexico border towns has reached “Lethal Weapon 3” levels – the highest level of violence seen in Mexico since 1972.