CASPER, WY – A local man told friends and family this week that he is ready to get serious about his bucket list.

WASHINGTON, DC – After two years of informal classification and diagnosis, the American Psychiatric Association has added a new mental disorder to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – White Male Panic, or WhiMP.

“Let’s face facts, white men are going crazy, in the clinical sense, all over this country,” said APA President Suzanne Bennett Johnson, PhD.

COLUMBUS, OH – Faced with a budget shortfall and a refusal to raise taxes, the Ohio state government voted to sell the state to Google.

With the shortfall estimated at more than three billion, the Ohio state government was faced with limited options to reduce the deficit.

“We thought about everything, except raising taxes,” said president of the Ohio Senate, Tom Niehaus.

WASHINGTON, DC – Earlier this week temporal scientists announced some good news and some bad news today regarding time travel.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Supreme Court is all set to wrap up their judicial year with what many are calling “the case of the century” – Frantz v. Byrne.

The case was brought to the Supreme Course by former Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz who is suing former Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne. The intent of the suit is to force Byrne to reform Talking Heads so that Frantz, and other former members of the band can “get paid.”

New York City, NY – A blogger for the popular entertainment blog EntertainThis!.com thinks that all British television shows are superior to their American counterparts.

DAMASCUS, SYRIA – As the blood shed continues in Syria, experts on Middle East politics have begun to identify a number of possible reasons for the escalation in violence.

FARGO, ND – In a world where high gas prices are gouging most Americans pocketbooks, one of America’s oldest and proudest professions is struggling to adapt -serial killers.

With gas prices topping five dollars in many states, serial killers are now having to find, kill and bury their victims much closer to home, increasing the risk of being caught by law enforcement.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – The much anticipated and celebrated 500th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.

SEATTLE, WA – Developers have released some details of an eagerly anticipated video game, the third part in the best-selling “Geriatric” Series.