Local Man Already Regretting His Twitter Username
Published April 2012FREDERICK, MD – Last month Treddle signed up for Twitter with the username FuckRogers6969696 and came to regret the decision almost immediately.
Time Machine Bring 15 Republicans Back From 1959
Published April 2012WASHINGTON, DC – Earlier this week temporal scientists announced some good news and some bad news today regarding time travel.
Supreme Court to Hear Talking Heads Case
Published April 2012WASHINGTON, DC – The Supreme Court is all set to wrap up their judicial year with what many are calling “the case of the century” – Frantz v. Byrne.
The case was brought to the Supreme Course by former Talking Heads drummer Chris Frantz who is suing former Talking Heads lead singer David Byrne. The intent of the suit is to force Byrne to reform Talking Heads so that Frantz, and other former members of the band can “get paid.”
$900 Million Movie Footage Destroyed
Published April 2012HOLLYWOOD, CA – The footage for the 900 million dollar movie “Touching Orion’s Belt,” was lost as the spacecraft that filmed the movie caught fire while traveling through Earth’s atmosphere.
Experts: Violence in Syria Probably Has a Simple Cause
Published February 2012DAMASCUS, SYRIA – As the blood shed continues in Syria, experts on Middle East politics have begun to identify a number of possible reasons for the escalation in violence.
Newspaper's 500th Story Doesn't Live Up to Hype
Published February 2012FLAGSTAFF, AZ – The much anticipated and celebrated 500th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.
Study Finds Most Women Do Not Dig Scars
Published January 2012COLUMBIA, SC – A group of sociologists based out of the University of South Carolina have proved, with very large numbers, that women do not, in fact, dig scars.
Video Game Lets Players Control Actual 80-Year-Olds
Published January 2012SEATTLE, WA – Developers have released some details of an eagerly anticipated video game, the third part in the best-selling “Geriatric” Series.
GOP Asks Council of Nine to Find New Candidate
Published January 2012WASHINGTON, DC – As the Republican Party struggles to identify a viable presidential candidate, party leaders have summoned the Council of Nine.
The Council of Nine, an ancient and powerful order of Republican leaders, will now convene to pick, or if need be, conjure, a new Presidential candidate.
“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said Republican strategist Gabriel Henderson.
Co-ed Unsure If She Needs To Apologize After Party
Published January 2012ATLANTA, GA – A college co-ed isn’t sure, but she thinks she regrets most of the events that occurred during her New Year’s Eve party.
