BAGHBAD, IRAQ – With the deadline to transfer control of Iraq looming closer, President George W. Bush told the United Nations on June 15 that a suitable new Government has finally been found.

MAMOUTH, NH – Months of speculation came to an end last Thursday as Democratic Presidential candidate John Kerry announced his running mate – a golden retriever puppy.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Amidst controversy over his National Guard service record, President George W. Bush released a documentary which he says will “provide no shadow of doubt as to the dedication to his war time station.”

LEBANON, NH – After suffering a string of Primary losses, Democratic Presidential candidate Gov. Howard Dean and his staff are revamping their strategy. Shifting away from an aggressive campaign, Dean and company will rely on tactics used by former, successful Presidential candidates.

WASHINGTON, DC – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President Bush unveiled his Homeland Security Plan stating that “this plan will protect Americans from shore to shore – and all those people in between. Unless of course you are a terrorist, then you won’t be safe.”

WASHINGTON, DC – With months of debate and crisis behind him, President George W. Bush unveiled his energy plan, which he says “will serve imminent relief to people and their stuff.” The plan is controversial and as anticipated, democrats in the house and senate are already lining up against the bill.

STAMFORD, CT – For the first time in United States history, Presidential candidates will not only square off in a series of televised debates but also in the wrestling ring.