BOSTON, MA – A recent sociological study out of the Harvard University has concluded that 83% percent of Irish people are alcoholics.

O. M. G! Can you believe this? It is I, your corpulent collaborator of cool, and I am back with another dishing of gossip and goodness.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Seconds after Linda Konstins beat computer solitaire on her flight from San Francisco to Boise, ID, she waited for congratulations from her fellow travelers but was disappointed when none came.

CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.

SEATTLE, WA – With the enormous success of the video game Rock Band, MTV Games has announced plans to extend the video game line with the addition of at least two news games scheduled to release this yea

MIAMI, FL – In an effort to increase revenues, CBS Television has announced that the seven-hour block of programming devoted to the Super Bowl will now be entirely commercials.

DENVER, CO – With the economy struggling and massive layoffs a daily occurrence, employment experts have released a list of the top 10 paying jobs for the upcoming year. Toping that list is Employment Expert.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – A humorous story related to coworkers by Philip Canseco has been generally regarded as a waste of everyone’s time. The story was about two men in Los Angeles on their way to a basketball game at the Staples Center but accidentally go first to the Great Western Forum.

CHICAGO, IL – In a three year study that has just concluded, scientists at the University of Chicago have been testing the widely accepted theory that once you go black, you never go back.

ST. LOUIS, MO – Budweiser Brewing Company has signed a contract that could revolutionize the marketing and promotion or alcoholic beverages. The deal, which will see Budweiser sponsoring a local man’s liver disease, is said to be worth in the neighborhood of $2.3 million.