
Woman Colludes with Russians to Ruin Ex-Boyfriends Birthday
Published August 2018CONWAY, AR – A local woman has been arrested for allegedly conspiring with Russian agents to ruin her ex-boyfriend’s birthday.
Dress Code Forces Man to Dress like an Adult
Published August 2018KANSAS CITY, KS – A newly implemented dress code has forced local developer Curt Dressop to dress like an adult.
Local Bag Boy is a Total Rebel, Doesn’t Care about Anything
Published July 2018BOISE, ID – A bag boy at a local Fred Myers grocery store stated that he is a “rebel” and he doesn’t “care about nothing, especially work.”

Office in Awkward Silence After Coworker Sneezes, Farts
Published July 2018AUSTIN, TX – An awkward silence has persisted in the Kingston Medical Supply office after an employee sneezed and farted at the same time.

Trump Scheduling Diplomatic Talks with Modor
Published August 2018WASHINGTON, DC – During a joint press conference with the President of Argentina, Mauricio Macri, President Trump said he would like to open negotiations with the fictional country of Mordor.
Although Mordor is a fictional land from the popular book series Lord of the Rings, Trump said that he would be reaching out to the country’s leader to set up some “face-to-face time.”

Trump Finishes Coloring American Flag Picture
Published June 2018WASHINGTON, DC – After working on it for a year and a half, President Donald Trump has finished coloring the first page of his Presidential Coloring book.

Black Man in TV Commercial Results in 270 Calls to 911
Published June 2018NASHVILLE, TN – The appearance of a black man in a television commercial frightened white viewers and resulted in more than 270 calls to police.
Random Tweets Reported as Actual News
Published July 2018Due to the overall laziness of journalists, posting tweets as news has become the primary template for most news organizations. For example, here is a tweet where a writer is writing a new book, or perhaps poem about tigers.
Anderson Cooper 360 Host, Panelists Stuck in Infinite Loop
Published April 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – Panelists and the host of Anderson Cooper 360 on CNN are stuck in an infinite loop as show producers scramble to get the program back on track.

Researchers Studying Soccer Players’ Injury Recovery
Published February 2018COLUMBUS, OH – Researchers at the Cleveland Clinic are studying soccer players around the world for their unique ability to recover quickly from injury.