BROOKLYN, NY – In an effort to share resources and save money, Ambulance companies have begun co-operating with Chinese food restaurants.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Upon leaving a screening of the Oscar winning movie No Country for Old Men, Jim Benjamin and his wife Martha, both 65, announced that they had no idea what the movie was about.

ST. LOUIS, MO – Budweiser Brewing Company has signed a contract that could revolutionize the marketing and promotion or alcoholic beverages. The deal, which will see Budweiser sponsoring a local man’s liver disease, is said to be worth in the neighborhood of $2.3 million.

LOS ANGELES, CA – Friends and family of Jesus Christ are confirming recent internet reports that the Christian icon has converted to Scientology. The shift in religious philosophy has come as a shock to Christians all over the world.

BOSTON, MA – After an exhaustive five year study, a research team from Harvard University has been able to prove a link exists between overweight people and an “insane love for food.”

CLEVELAND, OH – As forecloses continue to haunt the housing market, a sharp rise in cardboard box prices is making it even more difficult for families to find a place to call home.

WASHINGTON, DC – The Federal Food and Drug Administration will begin allowing the use of the drug Flunitrazepam as an anesthetic during surgery. The drug, more commonly referred to as “roofie” will be given to patients hours before surgery, unknowingly, while out having a good time.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In preparation for the anticipated troop build-up President Bush recently promised the United States armed forces are considering new enlistment incentives to raise the total number of troops available for deployment.

LOS GATOS, CA – While most Americans were celebrating the holiday season with their friends and family, the Castero family of Los Gatos were secretly thankful that one family member had passed away.

IRVIVE, CA – Actress and former Playboy Playmate, Jenny McCarthy, is disappearing from existence, becoming more and more transparent with each passing day. If she is unable to reverse the process, McCarthy will disappear from reality altogether in a matter of weeks.