WASHINGTON, D.C. – With the economy is recession, The United States Government has issued recommendations to taxpayers on how to spend their economic stimulus checks.

BOSTON, MA – After an exhaustive five year study, a research team from Harvard University has been able to prove a link exists between overweight people and an “insane love for food.”

BELLEVUE, WA – In an effort to become the number one discount travel website, Expedia.com has announced new features that the company hopes will draw more business.

IRVIVE, CA – Actress and former Playboy Playmate, Jenny McCarthy, is disappearing from existence, becoming more and more transparent with each passing day. If she is unable to reverse the process, McCarthy will disappear from reality altogether in a matter of weeks.

VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.

BILLINGS, MT – For the third time in six years, the Domino’s Noid is entering a drug and alcohol rehabilitation facility. This latest attempt at sobriety comes as a court order from last year’s cocaine induced altercation with Montana police.

CHICAGO, IL – Taking a cue from the recent barrage of lawsuits against tobacco companies, Gary Brown, 47, has filed a lawsuit of his own against a company he feels has deceived him.