PORTLAND, OR – The much anticipated and celebrated 700th story published by online satirical magazine The Scoop News, failed to make any positive impressions and left readers across the world concerned about the future of the newspaper.

“Yeah, I read it and I was just like ‘what the hell is that?’ It wasn’t funny at all. In fact, the last couple issues have been pretty weak. I think they must have all gotten girlfriends or something because it just doesn’t look like they are working as hard as they used to,” said reader Brandy Nemeth.

According to Scoop editors, the 700th story was intended to be part of a larger joke.

“Well, we wrote a really crappy story and hyped it up to make it seem all important and shit and then just basically spent 10 minutes writing a crappy story. Then we were planning on writing a brief about how stupid the actual story was and hopefully the whole thing would just come together. I mean come on. The story was a stupid piece of shit about dick flavored coffee. It’s hard to say if people will get it. I don’t really get it. Oh well, fuck it,” said Editor Jeff Bell.