GREEN BAY, WI – A local woman told coworkers that she is lucky to be alive as she had considered running a marathon and that marathon could have been the marathon in Boston that suffered a terrorist attack.

NEW YORK, NY – As Tim Tebow’s NFL career looks to be in jeopardy, one time fan Jesus Christ has begun distancing himself from the football player.

BOISE, ID – A local college student is wondering why the acid he took earlier hasn’t kicked in yet.

“I’m starting to kinda freak out about it, you know?” said Blake Harper.

GREENSBORO, NC – Several attendees of a recent birthday party were left wondering if the man standing over by the hall closet was racist.

NEW YORK, NY – Shortly after a list of MC Hammer’s 10 best songs that start with the letter ‘K’ was posted on a blog, all entertainment websites announced they would cease operations and shut down.

MOBILE, AL – In an effort to ensure kids grow up to become successful and that comedy remains funny, parents have been asked to stop telling their children that they are funny.

During a conference aimed at reducing the amount of unfunny and unsuccessful teenagers, the American Society for Child Development, the Comedy Writers Guild of America and the American Association of Psychologists agreed children should not be told they are funny by their parents.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is planning changes to the Academy Awards to update the awards and appeal to a larger audience.

OAKLAND, CA – In response to the growing number of niche dating websites, two new sites have started the debate of how specific is too specific.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The budding romantic relationship between Eddie Freirs and Rebecca Staller ended abruptly last week after Staller revealed her feelings about the iPhone.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With Fall settling over North America, television networks have begun rolling out their Fall lineups, offering new shows and reboots of past shows.