OLSO, NORWAY – An international team of scientist have finally put to rest any debate about global warming saying that recent snow showers across the globe prove that that the earth is not getting warmer.

BOZEMAN, MT – According to all who have noticed him, the guy sitting and playing guitar underneath the big tree in the Montana State University quad is not as cool as he thinks he is.

WASHINGTON, DC – Although experts have said the recession is over and signs show the economy is slowly improving, 10,130 political analysts were laid off this week.

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS – Tom Tom has unveiled a new feature to its voice guided GPS navigation system that will allow customers to load the voice of their spouse into the device to make for a more “familiar” driving experience.

This new service will be called Voice Voice and will be available in the next generation of Tom Tom GPS navigation devices beginning early next year.

JEFFERSON PARISH, LA – A local filmmaker is growing more frustrated as people continue to ignore his film which he posted on the YouTube over a month ago.

SAN ANTONIO, TX – Over the past weekend, thousands rallied in San Antonio to protest plans to open a new Mexican restaurant within blocks of the Alamo.

The protests began after Rubio’s Fresh Mexican Grill submitted plans to the city of San Antonio for a new location close to the Alamo.

In 1836 the Alamo was the site of a bloody battle during the Texas Revolution in which over 250 Texans were killed.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Vampire Americans, upset with the way vampires have been portrayed in the media, are calling for a boycott of all vampire movies, books and TV shows released now and in the future as well as anything released in the last five years.

GLENDALE, AZ – The state legislature of Arizona has authorized opening several camps where officials will be able to distinguish which Hispanic-looking people are here illegally.

NEWARK, DE – The American Association of Psychologists has voted to add several new addictions to the accepted resource for mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

VATICAN CITY – In an effort to prevent further molestation of young boys by priests in the Catholic Church, the Pope has announced a change to the way mass will be conducted. Young boys will no longer participate in mass and in their place priests will use young, attractive women.

“There willa be ah no morea alter boys inna the church,” said Cardinal Antonio Cassius of Italy.