ANN ARBOR, MI – According to her friends and family, new mother Josephine Montrell is “going a little overboard” in celebrating her baby’s first Christmas.

OLSO, NORWAY – An international team of scientist have finally put to rest any debate about global warming saying that recent snow showers across the globe prove that that the earth is not getting warmer.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – As the holiday season approaches, several top toy retailers have released a combined list of this year’s top, must-have toys to help parents ensure their children get everything they should want and that the children will be popular amongst other children.

“This list is something (retailers) do every year as a service to parents,” said Toys R Us spokeswoman Carol Hall.

NEWARK, DELAWARE – In what is being described as a major coup, many prominent witches have given their endorsement to Delaware Senate hopeful, Christine O’Donnell.

AMSTERDAM, NETHERLANDS – Tom Tom has unveiled a new feature to its voice guided GPS navigation system that will allow customers to load the voice of their spouse into the device to make for a more “familiar” driving experience.

This new service will be called Voice Voice and will be available in the next generation of Tom Tom GPS navigation devices beginning early next year.

TUCSON, AZ – Friends of local man Jay Ralllan have committed to no longer inviting him to any social event or gathering until he learns to put down his fucking phone.

CAMBRIDGE, MA – Students at MIT have succeeded in building a robot with artificial intelligence capable of pressing an elevator button.

CUPERTINO, CA – With the incredible success of their latest product, the iPad, Apple, Inc. has already announced that it will release two new versions of the popular device.

ELKTON, MD – A local couple says they are confused by their child’s resemblance to their next door neighbor.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Vampire Americans, upset with the way vampires have been portrayed in the media, are calling for a boycott of all vampire movies, books and TV shows released now and in the future as well as anything released in the last five years.