FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Upon leaving a screening of the Oscar winning movie No Country for Old Men, Jim Benjamin and his wife Martha, both 65, announced that they had no idea what the movie was about.

MESA, AZ – After returning from a first date with Rachelle Vargas, local man James Sheppard reported on his blog (alliwantisawomanbecuaseimlonely.blog.com) that Vargas looked nothing like her picture on Match.com.

BOSTON, MA – A party held to watch a NASCAR event ended after only 15 minutes when beer ran out and party goers realized the sport amounted to nothing more than driving in a circle.

NEW YORK, NY – Popular vigilante Spider-Man has been arrested for driving under the influence and verbally abusing a New York Police Department Officer after being stopped late last week.

WILLIAMSON, NJ – In an effort to celebrate Black History Month, John Henderson, a Caucasian, decided that he would date Carol Daniels, an African American woman. Henderson asked Daniels out on February first, the beginning of the celebratory month.

REDMOND, VA – Employees at Northern Consulting have noticed and begun to comment on a co-workers recent weight gain.

MIAMI, FL – In an effort to increase revenues, CBS Television has announced that the seven-hour block of programming devoted to the Super Bowl will now be entirely commercials.

TRENTON, NJ – Car salesman Gerry Traim has voiced disapproval for the nickname he has been assigned by his co-workers. Traim discovered the nickname, Major Ass, when he overheard others discussing his new car.

LOS ANGELES, CA – A screenplay author in Hollywood, CA accidentally created a unique script earlier this week. The script titled “Standing Alone In the Fire” has been met with trepidation by Hollywood studios.

WASHINGTON, DC – All of the living former Presidents of the United States have begun hazing newly inaugurated President Barack Obama in a tradition that dates back decades.