TRENTON, NJ – Car salesman Gerry Traim has voiced disapproval for the nickname he has been assigned by his co-workers. Traim discovered the nickname, Major Ass, when he overheard others discussing his new car.
“Fuck those guys, man!” said Traim. “They are just jealous. Just because I have a larger than average ass, that doesn’t mean I should have the nickname ‘Major Ass.’ They are just jealous of my bad new Mustang.”
Despite Traim’s assumption that his nickname references his physique, his co-workers explain that it has more to do with his orientation.
“I think it’s funny that he thinks we gave him that nickname because of his ass,” said Stephanie Flint. “We gave him that nickname because he takes it in the ass more than any other person alive. Both literally and figuratively.”