NEW YORK, NY – Popular vigilante Spider-Man has been arrested for driving under the influence and verbally abusing a New York Police Department Officer after being stopped late last week.
“Spider-Man was stopped after police spotted his car swerving in and out of traffic,” said NYPD spokesman Kevin Leary. “Once our officers began questioning him, Spider-Man became verbally abusive towards the female officer and made sexually charged comments directed at the officer.”
Spider-Man’s manager released a statement saying “Mr. Spider-Man is deeply sorry for the recent trouble he caused the New York City Police and in particular Lt. Carol Danvers. Spider-Man has checked himself into a rehabilitation facility to rid himself of his demons.”