NASHVILLE – Local country singer Johnny Thunder is reportedly having trouble finding a word that rhymes with America that he hasn’t already used.

WASHINGTON, DC – During the State of the Union address last month President Obama made a number of statements reflecting on the past year and made a number of promises looking ahead.

This year, instead of making resolutions that are bound to fail, I’ve put together some life hacks that are easy to stick to and will make you a better person.

OMAHA, NE – Local grand mother, Cheryl Gilchrist, has been patiently waiting the riches promised in a chain letter she sent to 10 friends 25 years ago.

PAMONA, CA – Former child star Corey Feldman has threatened to leak emails from numerous Hollywood studios unless those studios agree to make more movies starring Corey Feldman.

“If I’m not starring in at least one feature film by the end of next week I will release these emails that I have,” said Feldman. “I’m not messing around here. I’m fucking serious! I have emails from all of Hollywood so no one will be safe!”

ALBUQUERQUE, NM – The internet is buzzing after a recent blog post suggested a local 6-year-old predicted the rise of ISIS with a picture drawn three years ago.

ABUJA, Nigeria – In what is being seen by many as a “last ditch effort” to find the kidnapped Nigerian schoolgirls, the United States has committed a new group to aid in finding the young girls.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA – The budding romantic relationship between Eddie Freirs and Rebecca Staller ended abruptly last week after Staller revealed her feelings about the iPhone.

DALLAS, TX – Bullies across the United States have banded together to call for an end to the call for the end of bullying.

TUCSON, AZ – The lack of an iPad gift this year has proved to local seven-year-old Gracie Martinez that Jesus doesn’t exist and that there is no such thing as god.