ANN ARBOR, MI – According to her friends and family, new mother Josephine Montrell is “going a little overboard” in celebrating her baby’s first Christmas.

CLEVELAND, OH – During several different conversations with several different people at a recent Mates of State concert, local man Landon “Buster” Keane mentioned several times that every album he’s purchased in the past year has been on vinyl as apposed to CDs or online music stores.

NEWARK, DE – The American Association of Psychologists has voted to add several new addictions to the accepted resource for mental illness, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

WELLINGTON, VA – Local man Jefferson Porter rewarded his eight-year-old son with ice cream despite the fact that his son did not deserve any such reward.

SEATTLE, WA – With the enormous success of the video game Rock Band, MTV Games has announced plans to extend the video game line with the addition of at least two news games scheduled to release this yea

ARVADA, CO – According to neighborhood parents, the mother of Julia DeNovi is a total slut.

LOUISVILLE, KY – The day after The Academy Is concert, Victoria Jorgensen, 22, was terrified to realize that she had accidentally slept with the band’s bass player – mistaking him for someone important in the band.

BOSTON, MA – After an exhaustive five year study, a research team from Harvard University has been able to prove a link exists between overweight people and an “insane love for food.”

OMAHA, NE – Local father Steve Holt has taken drastic measures to reconnect with his high school son, Brenden, by listening to and trying to appreciate the band My Chemical Romance.

CHANDLER, AZ – After spending the last five years as an avid emo fan, local music lover Jarred Samson, 22-years-old, has completed his crossover to an indie fan.