OLSO, NORWAY – An international team of scientist have finally put to rest any debate about global warming saying that recent snow showers across the globe prove that that the earth is not getting warmer.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – A famous actor has dumped his slightly less famous actress girlfriend ending a romance that started on the set of some film that the couple appeared in together.

LONDON, ENGLAND – Faced with a public relations nightmare after an oil rig exploded killing 11 and causing millions of barrels of oil to leak into the Gulf of Mexico, BP has replaced its CEO with Buttons, a Black Labrador puppy.

The move comes only weeks after former CEO Tony Hayward stepped down following the Gulf of Mexico disaster. Hayward was replaced by Bob Dudley, who in turn has been replaced by Buttons.

NEW YORK, NY – Retailers across the country are beginning to use extreme measures in order to get people shopping over the holiday season.

CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.

SANTA CRUZ, CA – An epidemic is sweeping the nation as the popular website Twitter is being used more and more regularly to post vague and generally uninteresting messages.

SEATTLE, WA – With the enormous success of the video game Rock Band, MTV Games has announced plans to extend the video game line with the addition of at least two news games scheduled to release this yea

LITTLE ROCK, AR – A local father of two, Edgar Glen, has told his family that he doesn’t see what’s so great or funny about The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.

QUEENS, NY – For the seventh consecutive year, Jason Corgan, 29, will not be getting as much of a tax refund as he was expecting. Corgan, who figured that he would be receiving about four thousand dollars from the government this year, will actually only be getting back $37.

TEMPE, AZ – In a single day, the record for lost virginity in a 24 hour period was shattered at Arizona State University.