WASHINGTON, DC – Despite knowing very little about North Korea, foreign policy experts think that the people of North Korea are probably sad at the passing of Kim Jong-il.

NEWARK, DE – Several employees of CPTB Industries have described the Christmas decorations in a co-workers cubicle as “a little over the top.”

ASHLAND, KY – Three weeks ago fans and professional baseball players were attacked by a herd of Zombie Unicorns as a publicity stunt went horribly wrong.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – During a recent interview on the Piers Morgan Tonight television show, God admitted that he responds to celebrity and athlete’s prayers before others – even before his most dedicated followers.

“I’m not going to sit here and lie to you, do I answer the prayers of someone like Johnny Depp or… Phillip Rivers before I answer the prayers from some no-name guy from Arkansas? Yes. Yes I do,” said God.

LAKEWOOD, CO – As the deadline to make a deal came and went last week, Kevin Garmin, the Commissioner of the Jefferson County Youth Football Association (JCYFA) has announced that the league will be locking out the players for the upcoming season, effective immediately.

The lockout comes after negotiations between the league and the Youth Football Players Association on a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA) broke down.

MOGADISHU, SOMALIA – The hijacking of a ship containing 23 goats, three Michael Jackson look-a-likes, 107 boxes of “Dancing With The Stars” DVDs and a British Couple has caused an international incident.

ANN ARBOR, MI – According to her friends and family, new mother Josephine Montrell is “going a little overboard” in celebrating her baby’s first Christmas.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – As the holiday season approaches, several top toy retailers have released a combined list of this year’s top, must-have toys to help parents ensure their children get everything they should want and that the children will be popular amongst other children.

“This list is something (retailers) do every year as a service to parents,” said Toys R Us spokeswoman Carol Hall.

VIRGINIA BEACH – VA – Leaders of the Tea Party movement have announced that they are continuing to pretend that they dislike President Obama purely on political terms.

GREEN BAY, WI – The television broadcast commentary of the recent National Football League game between the Green Bay Packers and the Cincinnati Bengals has been described by many viewers as “vaguely homoerotic.”