IOWA CITY, IA – After a five-year, comprehensive study on the causes of domestic violence, researches at the University of Iowa have released a list of the most common reasons that spawn violent attacks within the home.

SAN FRANCISCO, CA- It was a classic example of being in the right place at the right time and now a local aspiring actor has finally landed himself in the big time.

DENTON, SD – During a recent paleontological dig in the Bad Lands of South Dakota, scientists have uncovered remnants of some of our earliest known ancestors. This new find uncovered tools ancient, savage creatures used and what appears to be a complete set of pre-historic clothing.

ANAHEIM, CA – In the single most unifying moment in the history of the world, almost every human being has come together to protest one single thing; The Disney Channels new show “Ain’t Them Minorities Stoopid?”

AUSTIN, TX – In a surprise address to the Austin Texas Hog Farmers Association, God the Almighty appeared in front of human eyes for the first time in centuries, and condemned the human race for what he described as “the relentless overpopulation and blatant destruction of thy most beautiful creation, the Earth.”