New Report Concludes Most of the Irish Population Are Alcoholic

BOSTON, MA – A recent sociological study out of the Harvard University has concluded that 83% percent of Irish people are alcoholics.


Democrats Planning to Use Reverse Psychology

WASHINGTON, DC – After losing the super majority in the Senate, Democrats have switched strategies for passing legislation. Democratic leaders are now going to start using reverse psychology to get the bills they deem important through the Senate and house.
“Realistically (reverse psychology) is going to be a pretty simple thing to implement,” said Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid.


Retailers Using Extreme Measures to Bring in Customers

NEW YORK, NY – Retailers across the country are beginning to use extreme measures in order to get people shopping over the holiday season.


Crazytown Mayor Not Surprised by Health Care Outbursts

CRAZYTOWN, US – The Mayor of Crazytown, Captain Artimis Buckminster III, says the protesting that has accompanied recent health care reform town halls has been well within his expectations.


Ad Campaign Tries to Convince Gays Not To Get Married

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In an effort to stop the increase of states allowing gay marriage, senior Republican Senators and Christian leaders have adopted a new tactic.


Father Doesn't Find Daily Show Funny

LITTLE ROCK, AR – A local father of two, Edgar Glen, has told his family that he doesn’t see what’s so great or funny about The Daily Show with Jon Stewart.


Angry Father Stops Car

SAN DIEGO, CA – After almost an hour of continuous bad behavior by his three children, Dennis Feagley, stopped his car along Interstate 10, stating that he had finally “had it up to here!”


Little Girl Arrested for Marrying Man, Unicorn

SALT LAKE CITY, UT – An eight-year-old girl has been arrested and charged with criminal mischief after presiding over the marriage of a male doll, Jonas, and a small, stuffed unicorn she named Beebee.
The girl, Cassie Weinrich, held the ceremony last month in her bedroom. While no other humans attended the wedding, authorities were called when Weinrich introduced the recently married couple to her elementary school teacher.


Budweiser To Sponsor Local Man's Liver Disease

ST. LOUIS, MO – Budweiser Brewing Company has signed a contract that could revolutionize the marketing and promotion or alcoholic beverages. The deal, which will see Budweiser sponsoring a local man’s liver disease, is said to be worth in the neighborhood of $2.3 million.


Animal Rights Group Protests Violence in Looney Tunes

LOS ANGELES, CA – An animal rights group has begun protesting outside of Warner Brothers Studios demanding the immediate stop of all animal cruelty in its productions, including the popular Looney Tunes cartoons.


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