Report: Mexico Violence at Lethal Weapon 3 Levels
Published September 2009TUCSON, AZ – According to a recent report released by the White House, the violence in Mexico border towns has reached “Lethal Weapon 3” levels – the highest level of violence seen in Mexico since 1972.
George W. Bush's Immigration Plan Beginning to Pay Off
Published March 2009PHOENIX, AZ – While it’s been several months since former President Bush left office, his administration’s immigration plan is starting to come together as Mexican nationals are leaving to return to Mexico.
Barack Obama Already Making Drastic Changes To America
Published December 2008WASHINGTON, D.C. – Promising change, Barack Obama won the presidency last year, and taking office this month, Obama has already issued several major changes to the United States which have many Caucasian-Americans concerned.
Israel Ready to Deploy Woody Allen Clone Strike Force
Published August 2006NORTHERN ISRAEL – With the war between Hezbollah and Israel stretching into another month of intense fighting, the Israel Defense Force is set to deploy a secret weapon – a highly trained strike force of Woody Allen clones.
Bush Tours to Promote New Immigration Reform Proposal
Published March 2006WASHINGTON, DC – After hundreds of thousands have protested recent proposals for overhauling the immigration system, President Bush will be touring the nation in support of a new proposal for both protecting United States borders and ensuring the availability of cheap labor.
Polygamists Not Really Looking Forward to Valentines Day
Published January 2006COLORADO CITY, AZ – According to local reports, polygamists in the small town of Colorado City are not looking forward to the Valentines Day holiday. With several males in the town taking more than one wife, the holiday has been expensive and time consuming for these same men in years past.
Easter Bunny Arrested For Drug Trafficking During Sting
Published March 2005FORT HANCOCK, TX – The Easter Bunny has been arrested and charged with drug trafficking after the conclusion of a three-year long sting operation conducted by a joint task force of Drug Enforcement Agency officials and Immigration and Naturalization Service officers.
Beth Sinclair: This Year's Hot Spring Break Tips, Tricks
Published February 2005HOLLYWOOD, CA – Hey kiddies, Beth here and oh my, how the months have been coming quickly as of late. Just like me! I’m serious, if someone even touches me I pop like a Champaign bottle. But enough about my little foibles. It seems like just last month that I was freezing my tits off, trying to find a special someone to warm me up – inside and out. But now the snows have thawed and my young nubile mind has turned to other, more serious thoughts.
Scotland, Ireland To Combine Into Single Country
Published March 2004DUBLIN, IRELAND – In a surprise announcement made last week in Dublin, the leaders of both Scotland and Ireland said the two countries would be uniting under a single ruler within the next two months. Mary McAleese, President of Ireland said the decision to combine the two countries was “an easy one to make and one that just made sense.”
President Bush Details His Homeland Security Plan
Published August 2002WASHINGTON, DC – During his weekly radio address to the nation, President Bush unveiled his Homeland Security Plan stating that “this plan will protect Americans from shore to shore – and all those people in between. Unless of course you are a terrorist, then you won’t be safe.”