White, Middle-aged Men Upset with Recent 500 Best Songs List
Published October 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – Middle-aged, white men across the country are expressing their anger with an entertainment magazine’s recent list of the 500 best songs of all time.
Facebook Launches Degree Program to Validate Facebook Users’ Posts, Comments
Published October 2021SAN FRANCISCO, CA – Beginning next month, Facebook will begin offering degree and postgraduate degree programs to Facebook users.
Amazon Assures Fans New Lord of the Rings Series Will Have Extreme Violence, Nudity, Incest
Published September 2021NEW YORK, NY – Amazon has released a statement assuring subscribers that the upcoming Lord of the Rings series will contain the amount of violence, nudity, and incest that fantasy television viewers have become accustomed to in recent years.
Local Man Still Wearing Fedora For Some Reason
Published August 2021LOS ANGELES, CA – A local Pasadena man is still wearing a fedora hat in publi
Adrian Veidt Admits Plan to Unify Humanity by Releasing COVID-19 has Failed
Published August 2021NEW YORK, NY – Former superhero and the smartest man in the world, Adrian Veidt, also known as Ozymandias, admitted to engineering and releasing the COVID-19 virus in an effort to bring the people of earth together.
New Survey: Most Kids Want to Be an NFT When They Grow Up
Published September 2021CHICAGO, IL – In a new survey of children ages five to 15, a majority of children said they wanted to be an NFT when they grow up.
Local Ventriloquist No Longer Invited to Parties
Published July 2021LAKEWOOD, CO – Local ventriloquist, Joshua Castellino, is no longer invited to parties due to refusal to leave his dummy, Winston, at home.
Olympic Events Changed to Help COVID Affected Athletes
Published August 2021TOKYO, JAPAN – The ongoing COVID-19 pandemic has forced the International Olympic Committee to make several changes to events of this year’s Summer Olympic Games to accommodate athletes COVID-19 related symptoms.
Coworkers Don't Want to Hear About Man's Dungeons and Dragons Game
Published June 2021The coworkers of Ben Magnerson still do not want to hear about Magnerson’s Dungeons and Dragons game.
Adult Stores Struggle with Inventories as Social Distancing Eases
Published May 2021SALT LAKE CITY, UT – Adult stores across the country are dealing with inventory issues as Americans become vaccinated against COVID-19 and the need for social distancing is rapidly decreasing.