HOLLYWOOD, CA – A C-list celebrity has posted a video online of themselves participating in a popular internet meme. In the homemade video, the C-list celebrity acts silly and mugs to the camera while imitating the video that started the meme.

ORLANDO, FL – Although her family members and friends have tried to explain it, local Grandmother Helen LaFornte doesn’t understand “the Kony thing.”

COLUMBUS, OH – Faced with a budget shortfall and a refusal to raise taxes, the Ohio state government voted to sell the state to Google.

With the shortfall estimated at more than three billion, the Ohio state government was faced with limited options to reduce the deficit.

“We thought about everything, except raising taxes,” said president of the Ohio Senate, Tom Niehaus.

FREDERICK, MD – Last month Treddle signed up for Twitter with the username FuckRogers6969696 and came to regret the decision almost immediately.

New York City, NY – A blogger for the popular entertainment blog EntertainThis!.com thinks that all British television shows are superior to their American counterparts.

SEATTLE, WA – Developers have released some details of an eagerly anticipated video game, the third part in the best-selling “Geriatric” Series.

WASHINGTON, DC – As the Republican Party struggles to identify a viable presidential candidate, party leaders have summoned the Council of Nine.

The Council of Nine, an ancient and powerful order of Republican leaders, will now convene to pick, or if need be, conjure, a new Presidential candidate.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said Republican strategist Gabriel Henderson.

NEW YORK, NY – A student at NYU has expressed disappointment regarding his “Occupy My Pants” party that occurred last weekend in the student’s dorm room.

LAKEWOOD, CO – As the deadline to make a deal came and went last week, Kevin Garmin, the Commissioner of the Jefferson County Youth Football Association (JCYFA) has announced that the league will be locking out the players for the upcoming season, effective immediately.

The lockout comes after negotiations between the league and the Youth Football Players Association on a new collective bargaining agreement (CBA) broke down.

CHAMPAIGN, IL – Local woman Bridget Torres changed her status from “in a relationship” to “single” almost 20 minutes ago and has yet to talk to any of her closest friends or family about the change.