VENTURA, CA – Friends and family of the TV star Cookie Monster held what they are referring to as “a successful intervention” last month in an effort to get Monster clean and free from his cookie addiction.

FORT HANCOCK, TX – The Easter Bunny has been arrested and charged with drug trafficking after the conclusion of a three-year long sting operation conducted by a joint task force of Drug Enforcement Agency officials and Immigration and Naturalization Service officers.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – Online dating services can be a great way for the hopeless to find love. But how about an online video game? Flagstaff man Ben “Corky” Mandrake, a player of the popular online role-playing game Dungeons of Fantasy, became the first player in the game’s history to actually marry another player – within the game.

FLAGSTAFF, AZ – In an effort to assist a co-worker his sex life, secretary Jenny Hill offered relationship advice, despite the fact that she was not consulted. The advice, which included tips on how to “get her into the sack as soon as possible,” was initially ignored by the co-worker, forcing Hill to be more aggressive in her efforts to help.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Amid several high profile “lapses in tasteful programming,” the FCC announced Tuesday that it will be tightening restrictions starting with this year’s batch of Holiday themed specials. The announcement comes just weeks after ABC’s use of a half naked women on Monday Night Football to advertise one of the channel’s other shows.

PORTLAND, OR – In a demonstration against the American government and the election process, 18-year-old Jerold “Skinner” Watoski, decided not vote for any of the available Presidential candidates and instead wrote in his own candidate. Watoski, who describes himself as an “Anarchist,” wrote the name of rock-group Good Charlotte on his ballot with a marker that Watoski had snuck into the voting booth.

MADESTO, CA – With Halloween in just a few weeks away, retailers around the country have released their top 10 costumes of 2004. The list, compiled by 50 of the countries leading retailers, is said to be an “interesting look at the American culture.”

OLSO, NORWAY – Scientists in Norway think they may have isolated the gene that is responsible for the growth of dark scars, commonly referred to as tattoos, on females in their late teens. The break through came as a result of two years of exhaustive research and may lead to preventing the disease which currently affects 80% of American women age 18-21.

DES PLAINES, IL – In an effort to capitalize on the success of the Adult Happy Meals, the fast food company McDonald’s will begin offering similar meals geared towards teens called Angst Meals. The meals will include a super-size drink, filled half full, a large French Fry, three cheeseburgers and a “special gift.”

WINSLOW, AZ – Some of the nation’s most prominent methamphetamine (meth, as it is known on the streets) dealers have united to put together an ad campaign to combat the negative, anti-meth ads which have recently started airing across the country. Citing the anti-meth ads paint meth dealers and users as lower class addicts, the ads produced by the meth dealers will show the positive things about meth an how it helps the community.