AUSTIN, TX – Summer will be extended three months and Winter will be phased out over the next couple years according to a recent announcement from Mother Nature.

RAPID CITY, SD – During a press conference at the Ramada Inn and Suites, God clarified some misconceptions about his involvement in recent accidents and recoveries.

AUSTIN, TX – Occasional film viewer Kevin Mothma has proved his intelligence and sophistication by disliking the new film Star Wars: The Force Awakens.

“(Star Wars) The Force Awakens is shallow,” said Mothma. “The story is so pedestrian. There was nothing there. Just a bunch of loosely tied together action scenes. And the main girl in the movie, whatever her name is, was such a Mary Sue.”

SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.

PARKER, CO – Local high school football coach doesn’t like high school athlete Kyle McDavid for no apparent reason.

COLUMBUS, OH – Local woman Rachel Connors will spend the next several weeks mentally preparing herself for Thanksgiving dinner with her family.

SEATTLE, WA – White women across the country are in a state of panic as Starbucks has announced they will be discontinuing the popular Pumpkin Spice Latte, just weeks before the drink was to go on sale.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Responding to critics and increasing pressure from women’s groups, Hollywood studio executives say they will temporarily change many of the decades long practices with regard to women.

ANAHEIM, CA – The Scoop News has gathered a number of Star Wars experts and identified eight The Force Awakens rumors that are likely to be probably true.

OMAHA, NE – Local grand mother, Cheryl Gilchrist, has been patiently waiting the riches promised in a chain letter she sent to 10 friends 25 years ago.