WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has had his hand stuck in a candy jar for over two days but he is refusing help and refusing to acknowledge that his hand is stuck.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is demanding that the training wheels be removed from his bicycle as he is “a big boy that can ride a bike like a big boy.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Donald Trump asked the State Department to reach out to a Nigerian prince who had emailed and promised to send Trump several thousand dollars.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh from a visit to London, President Donald Trump made the surprise announcement that the United States will export gasoline to England as he was made aware England uses petrol rather than gasoline.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump says that he did not steal cookies from the cookie jar and he refuses to acknowledge that he currently has crumbs all over his face and desk.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Like many other Americans, President Trump and his staff have made New Year’s resolutions.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – According to reports, White House staff has removed all clocks that mark the turn of the hour with a sound from White House grounds because President Donald Trump gets confused by the sound, asks “who’s there?”, and remains motionless until someone responds.

WASHINGTON, DC – White House staff has removed all tinsel from White House Christmas decorations after President Donald Trump was seen pulling Tinsel off a Christmas tree and eating it.

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In response to a number of negative books about him and his time as President, Donald Trump will publish his own book that he says he has written himself “on the very best paper and using the best coloring stick pencil things.”