Beth Sinclair: 2004 Oscar Preview
Published January 2004Hello kiddies, it is I, your confidant in entertainment, Beth. Oh what a strange and magical journey it has been this past year. I feel in love, fell out of love, got herpes – again, and lost 97 pounds. But most of all I saw movies. Lots of movies and some of them weren’t even porn! I laughed, I cried and that was just during the beginning of “The Rundown.” God that Rock is one hot piece of ass. I can tell you that he can “Rock Bottom” me anytime he wants!
Adult Channels Reaching Out To Families With New Programing
Published December 2003LOS ANGELES, CA – In an effort to increase viewing share, three major adult-themed channels are planning changes to include family oriented programming. With adult cable television suffering as a result of the increase of internet pornography, the Spice Channel, Playboy Channel and The Really Naughty Channel announced plans to include cartoons for younger viewers in the early morning hours and family oriented movies extending into the late afternoon.
Area Teen Overdoses on Pornography
Published October 2001MEMPHIS, TN – Eric Williams, 17, was rushed to Rose Medical Center late Thursday afternoon after suffering an apparent overdose. Initial reports and tests show Williams had overdosed on pornography and masturbation. His bodily fluid levels were critically low and he was suffering from extreme exhaustion.
Self Declared "Hottie" Sued for False Advertising
Published October 2001NEW HAVEN, CT – In an unprecedented court case, Mitch Dennis, 18, has filed a lawsuit against Emily Daniels, 18, for false advertisement. The suit stems from an incident on August 30th when Daniels reportedly wore a T-shirt proclaiming herself as a “Hottie.” Dennis argues that Daniels is in fact not a “Hottie” but rather unattractive in whole, thereby misleading him.
Area Man Responsible for Violence, Sex in Movies
Published June 2001IRVINE, CA – With pressure from the government and religious groups mounting, Hollywood executives and filmmakers are now blaming the amount of violence and sexual content in movies on Orange County resident Steve Prost. In a formal statement issued jointly by the Screen Actors Guild and executives of Warner Brothers, Dreamworks and Paramount Pictures, Prost is listed as the primary cause for the success of recent violent films including “Matrix” and “Gladiator.”
Waiter Asked To Be "More Gay"
Published June 2001INDIANAPOLIS, IN – Associates of Wilson McMichaels have put the openly gay Chili’s waiter on notice for failure to meet “funny-flaming-gay-man” expectations. The notice, issued late last week, is stated to be a result of McMichaels decidedly “non-gay” appearance and personality.
Buffy Goes All the Way with Spin-off
Published December 1999SANTA MONICA, CA- Executives at Warner Brothers Studios announced plans earlier this week to make some drastic changes in it’s most popular show, “Buffy the Vampire Slayer.” The executives feel these changes are “intended to improve the shows already ‘hip’ image, and are exciting in this new direction.”
Controversy at North Pole
Published November 1999GNOME, AK – Shocking and disturbing news came out of the North Pole this week as a witness stepped forward and exposed the described “hell hole” that is Santa’s Workshop.