Local Woman Makes National Tragedy All About Her
Published April 2013GREEN BAY, WI – A local woman told coworkers that she is lucky to be alive as she had considered running a marathon and that marathon could have been the marathon in Boston that suffered a terrorist attack.
Jesus Christ Distancing Himself From Tim Tebow
Published April 2013NEW YORK, NY – As Tim Tebow’s NFL career looks to be in jeopardy, one time fan Jesus Christ has begun distancing himself from the football player.
Group Wants Parents to Stop Encouraging Kids
Published February 2013MOBILE, AL – In an effort to ensure kids grow up to become successful and that comedy remains funny, parents have been asked to stop telling their children that they are funny.
During a conference aimed at reducing the amount of unfunny and unsuccessful teenagers, the American Society for Child Development, the Comedy Writers Guild of America and the American Association of Psychologists agreed children should not be told they are funny by their parents.
Oscars’ Producers Looking to Revamp Awards Show
Published January 2013HOLLYWOOD, CA – The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences is planning changes to the Academy Awards to update the awards and appeal to a larger audience.
Networks Announce New Fall Television Shows
Published October 2012HOLLYWOOD, CA – With Fall settling over North America, television networks have begun rolling out their Fall lineups, offering new shows and reboots of past shows.
KFC Geneticists Developing All-Skin Chicken
Published August 2012LOUISVILLE, KY – A Public Relations spokesman for KFC confirmed rumors that company scientists are working to genetically engineer an all-skin chicken for the fast food chain.
Romney's Taxes Contain Anti-Life Equation
Published August 2012TAMPA, FL –Republican Presidential Nominee Mitt Romney said Thursday that the real reason he has not released his past tax information is because his tax records contain the Anti-Life Equation.
“Believe me, I want to release the information, but if I were to do so, that would pretty much mean the end of life as we know it,” Romney said.
World Waits for Celebs to Comment on Flood
Published July 2012ATLNATA, GA – People across the country remain confused and unsure how to feel about the recent flooding in the south east as no celebrity has commented publicly on the event.
“I, I just don’t know what to think. I just saw the news and it looks really bad and stuff but what does George Clooney think about it?” said Iowa resident and occasional news reader, Glenda Herman.
Local Grandmother Doesn’t Understand the Kony Thing
Published May 2012ORLANDO, FL – Although her family members and friends have tried to explain it, local Grandmother Helen LaFornte doesn’t understand “the Kony thing.”
Time Machine Bring 15 Republicans Back From 1959
Published April 2012WASHINGTON, DC – Earlier this week temporal scientists announced some good news and some bad news today regarding time travel.