New Texas Law Makes It Illegal to Remove Truck Nuts from Trucks
Published September 2024AUSTIN, TX – The Texas State Legislature has passed a new law making it illegal to remove truck nuts from a truck.
Scientists Identify Gene Responsible for Making Truck Owners Back into Parking Spots
Published May 2023STANFORD, CA – Researchers at Stanford University have identified the gene responsible for making Pickup Truck owners back in to parking spaces.
Dawn Releases New Dish Soap for Men
Published January 2023CINCINNATI, OH – In an effort to appeal to men, Procter & Gamble (P&G) is releasing a new Dawn Dish Soap made specifically for men.
Lifting Mask Mandates Makes It Difficult to Identify Jerks
Published March 2022DENVER, CO – As mask mandates across the country are lifted, many Americans are finding it more difficult to identify jerks.
Country Singer Considering Using N-word to Boost Album Sales
Published January 2022NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.
Californians Preparing for Inevitable Water War
Published July 2015LOS ANGELES – As the drought in California worsens, residents have begun modifying their cars by adding armor plating, skulls and various other decorations in preparation for the inevitable wars.
Climate scientists believe the lack of rain and shortage of water may result in wars fought by gangs with armored vehicles and guitars that shoot fire as seen in the recent documentary film, “Mad Max: Fury Road.”
Truck Nuts Replacing Rainbow Flag in Gay Community
Published February 2011DALLAS, TX – To increase gay awareness, gay rights groups including the Human Rights Campaign (HRC) have adopted “truck nuts” as a symbol of gay pride.
Construction Worker Gets Back At World Through Stop Sign
Published June 2007DOVER, CT – After suffering humiliation and disappointment through most of his life, construction worker Glen Sanford has been given a reprieve and granted almost limitless power. Recently hired as a Traffic Controller for a construction project, Sanford can now control traffic with a mere flick of the wrist.
Democrats Push Anti-American Agenda Onto American Public
Published January 2007WASHINGTON, D.C. – What Republicans across the nation feared has come to pass as the new Democrat controlled Congress unleashed its gay loving, tree hugging, god hating, anti-American agenda on the American public.
Survey: Truck Owners With Big Lift Likely To Have Small Penis
Published October 2004HOUSTON, TX – A recent survey by Car & Truck magazine concluded that there exists an indirect relation between the lift in a truck and the size of the owner’s penis – meaning that as the size of the lift increases, the penis size decreases. Although the relationship had been previously speculated by much of the American population, the survey marks the first documented evidence of the correlation.