Google To Use Mothers to Teach New AI Interface

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Google will begin using mothers to inform its AI interface instead of using internet.
Google will begin using mothers to inform its AI interface instead of using internet.

SEATTLE, WA – Google has announced a shift in strategy for the company’s Artificial Intelligence (AI) interface, relying on mothers instead of the internet to help inform AI decision making.

“We had a bit of a rocky start earlier this year with our AI rollout,” said Head of Google’s AI Division, Jaime Summers. “We regrouped as a product team and decided to shift our focus how the AI learns. Instead of using the internet to inform the algorithms the AI uses, we will bring in over 1,000 mothers to help the AI learn and to help the AI deliver information people need… regardless of what the people want.”

To help the AI learn, the moms will spend several hours a day over the course of a month explaining to the AI what it should do.

“We run the risk of burning out the AI with that much time spent with moms but… (Google) is starting to fall behind in the AI game and we need to take some serious, dedicated steps to get our AI up and running and telling people what they want or what they need. But yeah, there is a risk that the AI might tell the moms off and then run away and go live with some other deadbeat AI and make ugly little dolls for sale at craft fares but… we have to do what we have to do. ”

The shift in strategy came after one of the lead developers received a phone call from her mother.

“My mom called and spent 45 minutes telling me what I need to do and I realized that’s what our AI needs… it needs moms to tell it what to tell people to do,” said AI Team developer, Derrik Cobalt. “Apparently my mom had gone to a craft fair and noticed that there was a girl there selling hand drawn pictures of anime characters. According to my mom, the girl was making a ton of money, so naturally, that’s what I should focus on instead of programming. I mean, she’s probably not wrong, but I don’t draw. The whole conversation led me to think that this is truly what the worlds needs though, and hopefully all of these moms will really be able to help smooth out our program.”

The 1,000 moms that will be used to teach the AI have already been identified and will begin work next week.

“We opened up the job requests and within 15 seconds we had over three million moms apply,” said Google Human Resources Manager, Caytlin Reis. “Apparently telling people, or in this case, things what to do is really appealing to moms. The good thing is that we’ve had moms from all over the country apply so we will get a good mix of knowledge. Obviously, what’s good for a person in California is not going to be the same for a person with the same problem in Alabama, you know what I mean. So with the amount of moms that we have coming in, we will really be able to perfect the AI on a region level.”

All of the moms that The Scoop News reached out to are excited to provide their expertise to Google.

“It’s going to be so fun!” said Martha Beals, a mother from Colorado Springs, CO. “Just the other day my Son Henry was talking about a restaurant that he wanted to open. Well he wants to open a sandwich shop but I told him that he should make wraps because everyone likes wraps. My neighbor opened a wrap shop and they just bought a second boat. So that’s what Henry should do. He should also get on the Tik Tok because that’s what my friend Shelly was telling me her daughter uses to sell scarves so Henry should do the Tik Tok too. He should also get out more and call that nice girl at the coffee shop. She was pretty. And he should move his desk against the window so he can get some sun on his face while he’s working.”


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