Trump Gives White House Staff His Christmas List Catalogs
Published December 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has given cabinet members and White House staff his “Christmas list” in the form of Sears catalogs with a number of circled items.
Trump Announces Plan to Return Alaska to Russia
Published November 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump released a statement late last evening indicating that the United States of America will return ownership of Alaska to Russia.
Star Wars Fans Upset New Film Will Include Color Turquoise
Published October 2019HOLLYWOOD, CA – Recently released images from the upcoming Star Wars film, The Rise of Skywalker, have angered a number of Star Wars fans who are upset the film will include the color turquoise.
White House Staff Use Cupcakes to Lure Trump to Meetings
Published October 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – In order to get President Donald Trump to meetings on time White House staff have been using cupcakes tied to strings to lure him into the correct room at the correct time.
Trump Gets Hand Stuck in Candy Jar
Published September 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump has had his hand stuck in a candy jar for over two days but he is refusing help and refusing to acknowledge that his hand is stuck.
Trump Says He is Close to Finishing Sudoku Puzzle
Published July 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – After several months of working on the same Sudoku puzzle, President Trump stated that he is close to finishing the two-by-two puzzle.
Trump Demands Training Wheels Be Removed From His Bike
Published June 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump is demanding that the training wheels be removed from his bicycle as he is “a big boy that can ride a bike like a big boy.”
Unaware Petrol is Gasoline Trump Plans to Export Gas to England
Published February 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – Fresh from a visit to London, President Donald Trump made the surprise announcement that the United States will export gasoline to England as he was made aware England uses petrol rather than gasoline.
Trump Denies Eating Cookies Despite Crumbs, Chocolate on his Face
Published February 2019WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Donald Trump says that he did not steal cookies from the cookie jar and he refuses to acknowledge that he currently has crumbs all over his face and desk.
White House Staff Reveal New Year's Resolutions
Published December 2018WASHINGTON, D.C. – Like many other Americans, President Trump and his staff have made New Year’s resolutions.