CHARLOTTE, NC – A company team building event that was intended to focus on staff unity and communication, quickly turned to be all about Accounts Receivable Accountant Sheryl Lekhonen.

SPOKANE, WA – Washington State University announced last week that it will be renaming the Edward R. Murrow College of Communication to BuzzFeed College of Clickbaiting.

UPLAND, CA -In what doctors are reporting as a medical breakthrough, 15-year-old Rachelle Bremerton has said a complete sentence for the first time in three years.

CINCINNATI, OH – A Twitter outage has prevented local teen Dakota Lundstrom from communicating with her friends about her love of waffles.

SANTA CRUZ, CA – An epidemic is sweeping the nation as the popular website Twitter is being used more and more regularly to post vague and generally uninteresting messages.

ENGLEWOOD, CO – In a surprising and risky move, the telecommunication company MCI has decided to replace its entire sales workforce with children ranging from ages six to eight-years-old.

LOS ANGELES, CA – As Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith exits theaters, parents all across the nation are calling in psychiatrists and other counselors to help their 30-something children transition from a life filled with Jedi and Storm Troopers and into a normal life.

BATON ROUGE, LA – In a study released last week, the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that women would be capable of accomplishing more both in the home and in the office if they only “kept their mouths shut.”

WASHINGTON D.C. – After month’s of bitter arguing and failed attempts at rebuilding their relationship, President Bush and Iraq President Saddam Hussein have agreed to attend couples counseling. Both plan on retreating to Camp David with world-renowned therapist Kelli Steinberg later this month.

HELL – In an attempt to improve its image and promote a happier atmosphere, Hell has hired a new marketing firm and image consultant. Blake, Stein and Wills Marketing will take over all public relations and advertising for the underworld getaway in an effort to “bring back the luster and mystique that Hades deserves.”