NASHVILLE, TN – Country singer Glenn Coventry is considering posting a video of himself using the N-word to boost record sales for his new album.

WASHINGTON, D.C. –The National Police Union has approved new white, robe-like police uniforms that will demonstrate a “commitment to peace and harmony”.

WASHINGTON, DC – As the Republican Party struggles to identify a viable presidential candidate, party leaders have summoned the Council of Nine.

The Council of Nine, an ancient and powerful order of Republican leaders, will now convene to pick, or if need be, conjure, a new Presidential candidate.

“Desperate times call for desperate measures,” said Republican strategist Gabriel Henderson.

LEESBURG, VA – A local homeless man says that he has developed a plan for balancing the budget and addressing all of The United States of America’s current financial concerns.

LOUISVILLE, KY – Mere weeks after their protest of the PGA’s Masters tournament, members of the hate group the Klu Klux Clan have petitioned several local ice cream suppliers this week to remove the flavor chocolate from the popular Neapolitan ice cream. The group states that combining the dark chocolate ice cream with the white vanilla is “against God’s will.”