Starbucks To Open New Starbuck Inside Starbucks

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SEATTLE, WA – Due to a lack of quality retail space in several of America’s larger markets, Starbucks will begin a new expansion strategy that will open new Starbucks coffee shops inside existing Starbucks. The new Starbucks stores will be smaller than existing ones but will offer a full menu.

According to Starbucks CEO, Jim Donald, the new Starbucks will allow the company to continue growing without increasing costs.

“Most of the existing urban real estate is already owned by Starbucks so really, if we want to keep growing, to keep expanding and opening more Starbucks, we had to get creative,” said Donald. “By opening new Starbucks inside Starbucks we are saving a tremendous amount on rent, location fees and taxes. That and we already have a built in customer base.”

New Starbucks will be one-quarter the size of the current average Starbucks but will feature a full selection of beverages and food.

“When a customer walks into a Starbucks and they see a really long line, right now they have to go five doors down to a different Starbucks but that’s almost always way too far for the average American to walk,” said Starbucks Manager Frank Hull. “Soon, those same customers will just have to turn around and head to the corner. Really, this whole idea of Starbucks in Starbucks is to meet the customer’s needs.”

In order to staff the new, smaller Starbucks, executives are looking for shorter staff members or take existing short employees and transfer them to the new stores.

“Not only is Starbucks planning on revolutionizing the coffee serving industry again, but with the new ‘Small People Staffing’ initiative, Starbucks looks to revolutionize staffing,” said Stanford Economics Professor Garret Byrd. “Currently there is no large scale employer of small people in the country… other than Disney of course. But Disney is evil. Starbucks is evil too, but much, much less evil than Disney. You don’t go ‘missing’ from a Starbucks if you accidentally drop your gum on the floor. You know what I’m saying?”

Starbucks reports nothing but positive feedback regarding the idea of smaller Starbucks within Starbucks saying that customers, in general, are looking forward to shorter lines and more options.

“I for one am excited,” said coffee drinker and Starbucks regular D’Ontrell Harts. “Right now my whole day is ruined if I walk into a Starbucks and there are more than two people in line. It’s inhuman to ask someone to wait like five minutes for a cup of coffee. If these new stores work out like I hope, I’ll be able to walk in, and the shortest line and then get my caramel macchiato frapachino with two pumps and light whip cream. If I don’t have that every morning I literally want to just kill myself.”

The first Starbucks to inside a Starbucks will be located in Everett, WA and should open In November.

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