Local Man Struggling to Explain Why Vinyl Records are Better Than Digital Music

Jordan Skjik has spent the last several hours trying to explain to his friend why vinyl records sound better than streaming music.
Jordan Skjik has spent the last several hours trying to explain to his friend why vinyl records sound better than streaming music.

OMAHA, NB – A local man has spent the last several hours trying, with limited success, to explain to his friend why listening to music on a vinyl record is better than streaming online.

“There is a quality issue, like, when they make music and then export that music, um, in to the digital version, they, uh, compress it and stuff and it loses something,” said Jordan Skjik. “If you don’t care about music then whatever. But if you are like me, a musician, and someone who, like, really cares about the craft and, like, how music should sound – vinyl is the way to go.”

Skjik’s friend, Emily deCortes, says she remains unconvinced that a vinyl record offers a better listening experience than streaming music online, despite Skjik’s comments.

“He was already kind of annoying when it comes to music but now, since he got that record player, he has been so annoying,” said deCortes. “He’s literally been sitting there for two hours trying to explain to me why I should buy records instead of just streaming whatever I want and I started zoning out about an hour and a half ago. But to be fair, he did listen to me explain the difference between Ron Weasley and Harry Potter for a couple hours a week ago so I guess I owe him.”

The popularity of vinyl records has increased in the last decade but Skjik only recently purchased a vinyl record player.

“I can tell you that this was the greatest thing I have ever purchased,” said Skjik. “Before I bought my record player, I was like a soul lost at sea. And by sea, I mean a sea of shitty quality music. But the second that I put on that old album Britney Spears ‘One More Time,’ I was hooked. I can’t go back. It’s like that old saying, ‘Once you go black, you never go back.’ I always thought that saying was about coffee, but now I see that it was totally about vinyl records. Because they’re black.”

When asked specifically why vinyl is better, Skjik has struggled to provide a clear answer.

“I asked him ‘if I put a record on a crappy stereo and if I put Spotify on a good stereo which would sound better’ and he just looked at me and asked me why I would put a record on a crappy stereo,” said deCortes. “He couldn’t answer. All he kept saying was stuff about compression and logistics and shit. I really don’t think that he knows anything about the real difference.”

Despite the negativity from his friends and family, Skjik has no plans to go back to normal music.

“You have no idea, no idea,” said Skjik. “Until you’ve heard the original, vinyl release of the Star Wars Christmas album, you have not lived. What can you get a Wookie for Christmas? I’ve learned to appreciate it on a whole new level.”


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