New Mother May Be Taking Baby’s First Christmas Too Far
Published November 2010ANN ARBOR, MI – According to her friends and family, new mother Josephine Montrell is “going a little overboard” in celebrating her baby’s first Christmas.
Local Filmmaker Upset with Low Number of YouTube Views
Published August 2010JEFFERSON PARISH, LA – A local filmmaker is growing more frustrated as people continue to ignore his film which he posted on the YouTube over a month ago.
Long John Silver’s Buys Oil, Fish in Gulf of Mexico
Published May 2010NEW ORLEANS, LA – American fast food company Long John Silver’s has secured exclusive fishing rights in the Gulf of Mexico as it hopes to capitalize on the recent oil spill. The company is hoping to both make a substantial profit from “already oiled fish” and perhaps remove the oil from the water.
“What we have here is an amazing opportunity,” said Long John Silver’s president Walter Johnson.
Mother Nature Upset Humans Have Been Ignoring Her
Published April 2010FORT SMITH, AR – Mother Nature held a press conference last week because the people of Earth “don’t seem to be picking up the hint.”
Local Man Wrongly Rewards Son after Terrible Performance
Published March 2010WELLINGTON, VA – Local man Jefferson Porter rewarded his eight-year-old son with ice cream despite the fact that his son did not deserve any such reward.
Local Man Just Doesn’t Get It
Published February 2010EL CAJON, CA – The friends and family of Gary Kostisyn are almost unanimous in the feeling that Gary doesn’t get it. In a strongly worded letter from those that know him best, Kostisyn was warned to “get his shit together and figure it out.”
China Thinking About Taking Over The World
Published February 2010BEIJING, CHINA – After several years of working through scenarios, China says it is strongly considering taking over the world in the next five to 10 years.
“We rook at evy-ting and we rearize tat (China) have evy-ting we need to take over word,” said Ma Zhaoxu, a spokesman for China’s Ministry of Foreign Affairs. “So maybe (China) just do it. Maybe we just take over word. Who stop us? America can not stop us now.”
Beth Sinclair: This Year’s Best Halloween Costume Ideas
Published September 2009LOS ANGELES, CA – It has been so long since I’ve written a column! Hello, my lovelies, it is I, your ever vigilant reporter of all things that are good, Beth Sinclair!
Local Runner Won’t Stop Talking About Running
Published August 2009FLAGSTAFF, AZ – While the Portland Marathon isn’t until next month, local runner, Jassie Hill won’t stop talking about her preparation and training.
Neighborhood Mother Is a Total Slut
Published February 2009ARVADA, CO – According to neighborhood parents, the mother of Julia DeNovi is a total slut.
