WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a pre-vacation ruling, the Supreme Court has issued one of its most controversial rulings, upholding Comcast’s right to demand customer’s first-born children as payment.

DAMASCUS, SYRIA – After suffering a series of recent defeats, the terrorist organization known as Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) is looking to re-brand its image in hopes of bringing in new recruits.

According to senior ISIS leaders, recruitment of new members has slowed as the population of men between the ages of 16 and 25 has been depleted.

This year, instead of making resolutions that are bound to fail, I’ve put together some life hacks that are easy to stick to and will make you a better person.

PASADENA, CA – Local mother, Jane Herbst, is refusing to get a flu shot because she read an internet blog post recently that may or may not have said there was a connection between autism and flu shots.

I’m here today to give you my picks for the best vacation spots here in the good ol’ US of A.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – With the filming set to begin in a few months, Disney has finally revealed the cast for the highly anticipated Star Wars Episode VII.

MOUNT VERNON, WA – A report recently released by the Department of Animal Rights and Welfare concludes that Lewis is bad dog.

HOLLYWOOD, CA – Over the last several weeks television networks have started rolling out their Fall schedule.

Jaime Wingham immediately felt a kinship to all the people in Syria who were affected by the attacks. Wingman has admitted that for years she has been the victim of chemical attacks in the form of Dutch Ovens.

TUCSON, AZ – Local bongo player, Steve “Ashy” Gregory, readily admits that he takes his bongo playing very seriously.