SAN JOSE, CA – Local Jewish boy James Kirkwood has been struggling to explain to his Christian friends why Hanukkah is better than Christmas.

BLOOMINGTON, IN – A city sanitation employee is refusing to perform all assigned tasks based on is stated religious beliefs.

OMAHA, NB – With suburban white fear at an all-time high, parents across the country are approaching Halloween differently this year, hoping to make sure nothing bad happens to their children.

“It has never been a more dangerous time to be a white Christian,” said Gwen Stringer. “With everything that’s going on with those ISIS people, all the abductions, and the those people… I mean, the situation in Ferguson, oh and let’s not forget Ebola!”

MODESTO, CA – Over the past several weeks local Christian Jerome Hopkins has been aggressively wishing co-workers a “merry Christmas,” regardless of his coworkers’ actual religious beliefs.

QUEENS, NY – Local 11-year-old Christian, Bradly Mickleson, wishes he was Jewish so he could celebrate Hanukah and receive gifts for eight consecutive days.

NEW YORK CITY – The holiday season is here and parents will soon begin looking for the perfect toys for their children.

As it has done for the past 30 years, The Scoop News has interviewed several toy industry insiders and has compiled a list of toys that are expected to be some of this year’s hottest sellers.

WASHINGTON, DC – In an effort to increase their social media presence and communicate their platform more efficiently to younger Americans, the Republican Party has started a program to teach its base how to use the internet.

“Republicans need to start tweeting and Facebooking and Yelping and they just need to start being online more. A lot more,” said Republican Strategist William Smithson.

WASHINGTON, DC – With the presidential election well in the past, most republican Christians are relieved that they can finally go back to being skeptical and suspicious of Mormons.

NEW YORK CITY, NY – Last month the Fox News channel interrupted a series of lies and conjecture to report actual, opinion-free news.

As hurricane Sandy hit the east coast late last month, Fox News broadcaster Jonathan Hunt interrupted a news story about the Obama Administrations plan to destroy the Christian church with real, honest, opinion-free news about the hurricane’s affect on cities.

WASHINGTON, DC – After two years of informal classification and diagnosis, the American Psychiatric Association has added a new mental disorder to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders – White Male Panic, or WhiMP.

“Let’s face facts, white men are going crazy, in the clinical sense, all over this country,” said APA President Suzanne Bennett Johnson, PhD.