McCain Promises To Make New Oil Reserves If Elected
Published July 2008DES MOINES, IA – During a speech given to local farm workers, Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain laid out his plan for combating rising fuel costs. The main focus of McCain’s plan is to create more fossil fuels by burying various forms of organic material and waiting “til the magic happens.”
Millions of Rabbits Gather to Celebrate Death of Their Savior
Published March 2006LONDON – Rabbits all over the world will celebrate the life and death of their lord and savior, Peter Cottontail, this month with a massive gathering in a farm just outside of London.
Study: Women Far More Productive When Not Talking
Published January 2003BATON ROUGE, LA – In a study released last week, the New England Journal of Medicine revealed that women would be capable of accomplishing more both in the home and in the office if they only “kept their mouths shut.”
God Unhappy with Human Beings
Published November 1999AUSTIN, TX – In a surprise address to the Austin Texas Hog Farmers Association, God the Almighty appeared in front of human eyes for the first time in centuries, and condemned the human race for what he described as “the relentless overpopulation and blatant destruction of thy most beautiful creation, the Earth.”
Universal Studios Faces boycott
Published October 1999ANAHEIM, CA – Last week, Rabbi Jacob Silverman called for a national boycott of Universal Studios and its parent company, Seagram, because of the theme park’s recent addition of the new thrill ride, “Mr. Schindler’s Wild Ride.”