Miss Nude World 1971 Comes Out of Retirement

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PENSACOLA, FL – Nude Miss World legend, Bunny McTitties, shocked and excited the pageant world by announcing an end to her retirement and revealing plans to return full time to posing nude. McTitties retired at the age of 45 in 1971 after five consecutive Miss Nude titles and remains the all time winningest Miss Nude with 10 total titles.

“All these years off, it was damn hard watching all those naked gals get up there and steal my moves. That pointing stance Gwen Juggs does in her routine? Mine. Yup that no good whore stole it right out from under me. I really do think I am ready for this and everyone that knows me knows that I wouldn’t do this if I wasn’t ready,” McTitties said. “Sure my parts may have sagged a bit here and there, but I think the judges will recognize inner nakedness as much as they do outer nakedness. The tits on a woman’s chest may get the judges attention but you hold it with the tits inside your brain.”

McTitties has been training for the upcoming Miss Nude pageant at her retirement home in Pensacola, FL and at a nearby strip club, Bob’s Big Ol’ Boobs Barn.

“Yeah we let her come in her and practice her routine,” said Bob Big Ol’ Boobs Barn’s owner Bob Pastery. “I mean most of the people that come in here get pretty grossed out by her but you know, she’s old so it’s to be expected, me thinks. Anyways, she really helped us out back in the day so we let her do her thing for a little while. But only during the day. No one wants to see that shit at night. Fucking nightmares they’d have and we want people coming back.”

While McTitties remains a legend in the Miss Nude pageant, some of her competitors are less than thrilled to see her taking to the stage again.

“I couldn’t believe when Billy Ray told me that she was coming back. I mean I was 2 when she won her last title,” said reigning Miss Nude World Bunny Hummpers. “And let me tell you something Mr. Reporter man, there is no way some skanky ass hundred-year-old chick is gunna beat this work of art on that stage. I don’t care if I have to fuck all the judges this time, I will not let her and her flabby pan cake tits beat me.”

So far friends and family have been supportive of McTitties’ desire to return to work and some are helping her get back into shape. Granddaughter Elle Faint will be competing next to her grandmother in this year’s pageant and is helping encourage and support McTitties’ decision.

“I think it’s great that Grammy wants to show off her body again. For a 75-year-old she looks fantastic. No one can tell me she looks a day over 65. I mean I have a nice body and next to me she will look all wrinkly and saggy and not to mention utterly disgusting, but that isn’t what miss nude is all about. It’s not about how you look on the outside, it’s all about how many of the judges you can wow with your blow job technique… and your brains,” said Faint.


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