ST LOUIS, MO – A local man has told friends that he is already regretting his late-March hot tub purchase.
Since buying the hot tub, Paul Reseneux said he has realized that the idea of a hot tub is much more appealing than owning a hot tub.
“Hot tubs are so great… for like a month,” said Reseneux. “It was winter, and I was thinking ‘man it would be so great to just have a hot tub out back that we could go soak in and have a nice drink and just relax’ so we got one but… it’s not that easy. And after the first month or so you just kinda don’t really use it anymore. Also, it was fucking expensive.”
Among Reseneux’s biggest issues with the hot tub are the fact that it requires constant maintenance and Reseneux has only used it a handful of times.
“When you are at a hotel or a spa or something and there is a hot tub it’s just the best but… there are people that it’s their job to maintain that hot tub,” said Reseneux. “But when it’s your hot tub that person that needs to maintain a hot tub is you and that sucks. Every day you gotta be on that thing or like mold grows in it or bugs get in it or the PH levels, whatever those are, get outta whack and water levels need to be correct and it’s just work. You get a hot tub to relax in, not work on. Another reality is that when the weather gets above 80 the idea of getting in a hot tub is… literally the last thing you want to do. So, there are four months where you want to use the hot tub but you gotta maintain it forever. Apparently. Oh, and hot tip – don’t accidentally drop a bag of M&Ms into it. That will ruin your week.”
Reseneux bought a hot tub last March after several weeks of debating the purchase with his wife, Sarah.
“We talked about it for a couple weeks but then he just went and bought a hot tub one weekend,” said Sarah Reseneux. “You know it was one of those home shows where you go to look at things but never intend to buy anything. It’s like when you go to Hawaii, and you think it’s a good idea to go to one of those timeshare presentations just to get a free luau. But then they make a lot of sense, so you invest thousands of dollars into it and think that everything is going to be amazing but then it’s not because you got suckered into buying a fucking timeshare. It’s exactly like that. And now we have a hot tub that I’ve sat in four times.”
Before buying the hot tub, Reseneux had an expectation that owning a hot tub would mean a dramatic increase in “intimate time” with his wife.
“I ain’t gonna lie, things in the bedroom haven’t been great,” said Reseneux. “Sure, we do it a few times a month, and it’s usually pretty good, but I thought this hot tub was really going to change that. Every time we’ve been at a hotel with a hot tub, you know, things just start getting frisky. I thought the same thing was going to happen at home but no, it’s all ‘the water’s too hot’ or ‘the chlorine is burning my vagina.’ It kinda sucks, man. It really sucks.”
Despite regretting the purchase, the Reseneux’s are committed to keeping the hot tub.
“We kind of have to keep it, have you seen the resale value on hot tubs? Let me tell you it’s shit,” said Reseneux. “But we’ll see how things go when we have it all winter. If the sexy times increase, maybe it will be worth it in the end.”